Are you the circus performer or spectator?
Each and every day we have a choice if we want to participate in the chaos of life or eat popcorn and watch the show!
Here’s the truth: we all need to become better spectators. Cultivating healthy relationships begins by nurturing your internal relationship on a daily basis. That’s the only way we can be our best selves and not let external relationships change who we want to be. You are more powerful than your emotions and certainly the ringmaster of them. Knowing that only you can control your response to others is the key to this – while also understanding that you cannot control the emotions of others.
We’ve all tried to follow the rules of dealing with difficult people by ignoring them, mastering breathing exercises, and reciting self-help mantras, only to end up at the point of explosion. The provoker overwhelmed you and they got the reaction they were looking for. And it’s usually on the day you’re not feeling your strongest. It could be that you’re tired, hungry, or you’ve just had enough.
How many times has someone pushed your buttons only to have you fall hook, line, and sinker for the bait?
As Christians, we know the only way we can prepare for our reactions is to ask God for guidance.
For instance, by saying,
God, I love you. I’m not sure why I have a front row at this circus at this moment, but I will treat them and myself with kindness by not participating.” Then, think of 2 Peter. 1:2 “Grace and peace be yours in abundance.”
Give them grace, take your peace – and move on…
You don’t have to participate, and it doesn’t have to get in you or on you. If you participate, others will quickly forget who started it. The headline will just say, “Circus spectator got in the arena and fought with the ringmaster”. It doesn’t matter how you got in the situation, if you participated, you are part of the drama.
There are many situations that come up daily to make you want to stick up for yourself and feel justified, but you cannot let circumstances or people take your peace.
So next time be on alert when the underhanders, passive-aggressors, exploders, and drama kings and queens come your way.
A baffling fact that many come to find who deal with difficult people daily is: they just want a reaction from you!
So, plan Ahead!
Choosing to be good is VERY difficult when we feel attacked. We prepare for these moments daily when we read the bible.
Right here, right now, when the circus is performing right in front of you. What are you going to do?
Simply remember these 3 things.
- Who do you belong to?
- Who died for you?
- Who loves you the most?
The rest really does not matter. Our personal value system is based upon Jesus. The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. ‘The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31
It really is that simple. Acceptance, respect, forgiveness, and most of all love. So, give that to others and yourself by not participating. Even if they hit the button they were looking for.
Since the circus usually takes a lot of time and energy to shut down, walk away and take your popcorn and find somewhere better to go.
And P.S.
… We all must admit that we are a circus performer from time to time. We are all human and from time to time we all let stress, anger, and fear lead us to be circus performers. So, give grace, there is usually something that is causing performers to cry out for attention.
